On Becoming a Mom

I always say that Peter was the one who taught me to NEVER say I can’t do something and on his birthday back in September, I shared the story of his birth and why I credit him for teaching me that important lesson. If you are curious about that story you can check out that post at this link: How my baby boy taught me to NEVER say I can’t do something.

Natalia though, my first born, is of course the one who taught me how to be a MOM. Eight years ago today she made me a mom and all I can say is from the day she was born, she ROCKED OUR WORLD! I don’t think I am alone when I say that parenthood was not what I expected. I also find the reality is, you will never be ready yet when the time comes, you are ready.

Natalia’s due date was originally May 4th and was moved to May 10th at my first ultrasound because she measured small. I guess she was always petite! It made sense at the time that she would measure small because I had long cycles. I knew I was definitely having a baby early May! So you can imagine my shock when my water broke at 1AM on April 28th! I remember practically shaking from nerves leaving to the hospital because I knew the next time we would be home, we would be parents. I was certain my water had broken and when the water breaks, there is no question the baby is coming!

I remember the day before she was born, April 27, 2014 as if it was yesterday, even 8 years later. I think I’ve always seen it as the last day before our lives completely changed. We slept in, for the last time in a long time, visited Peter’s Aunt for her birthday at her apartment in Brickell by the water, and passed by Best Buy to buy a video camera. We then had dinner plans at Swine (which sadly has now closed) with friends and I think we even discussed going out to dinner just us one last time the following weekend before baby Natalia came. That never happened.

It was the most special moment of our lives when we got to meet Natalia! Unlike Peter, I don’t have complaints about her labor and delivery. She was a beautiful baby!

Now I knew that newborns involved lack of sleep BUT Natalia did not sleep at night at all and I am not a napper. Plus as many of us know, the whole ‘sleep while the baby sleeps’ thing does not work since when the baby sleeps, you usually need to take care of everything else that needs to get done that gets ignored when the baby is awake! I also found breastfeeding to be more of a challenge than I expected. It ultimately became one of the biggest love/hate relationships of my existence!

I guess it would be common sense that a baby is not going to come with an established routine but the lack of routine left me disheveled and it took me months to get into a groove.

It was always expected of me, even of myself, that I would be a working mom. It was a bit of a shock to me how HARD being a working mom is. One of the biggest surprises of all that motherhood brought was how much I was going to wish I did not have to go back to work. I know stay at home moms have their struggles too but as working moms, the housework does not go away because you work. It just needs to get done in addition to working. The part that hurts even more though, you miss some of those first milestones. Eight years later, I have realized how fast the time goes. I eventually did start working part time and I think one of the good things the COVID situation did bring is that it brought more flexibility in the workplace. Nonetheless, I wish I’d had more time home with Natalia.

I also think back on all the things we said we would not do when we had kids that we ended up doing! While we try not to give the kids phones or iPads at restaurants, like most parents will likely say, it has happened. Sometimes you just need a little peace and quiet and honestly if a meal is going long, can you blame kids for getting restless? We also said we’d never let our kids sleep in our bed. We actually stuck to this one…. Until Toddler beds came into the picture and the kids were able to easily come to our room. I know I don’t have the energy at 3AM to get up, walk back to my child’s room, and argue about getting back to bed. On a side note, to this day, at 6 years old, Peter still comes to our room!

I have always said I feel like my world was turned upside down the day Natalia was born. Those early days feel like a whirlwind and if you are like us and kept your babies home the first couple of months until they had vaccines, it’s just a strange time because you feel like you are on house arrest. Slowly though, you get pieces of your old life back. You will never completely have it back but I do feel pieces of the old you do return. While it’s hard to imagine in those early days, you will somewhat feel like yourself again, eventually.

Life has been chaotic the past 8 years but I would not have it any other way! Each stage has come with different challenges- although I stand by my opinion that newborn stage is the hardest because I like my un-interrupted sleep! Each stage has also come with such beautiful moments though and the reality is I feel as if these eight years have gone by too fast! I wish time would slow down so we could enjoy each other and growing up just a little longer.

I doubt quite often if I am doing things right, I think every mom does. I am so proud of the little person Natalia is becoming though! She is always creating! Unlike her brother who loves screen time, she is more likely to do something using her imagination! She loves making dance choreographies, arts and crafts, taking walks, and building forts! She is also a determined hard worker. I have always hoped to set a good example for her and to this day, she is still the one teaching me how to be a MOM.

Thanks for visiting!


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